Tonight, tonight I want to tell you everything - everything under the Sun of my Soul, I want to tell you and then some more. 

I want to tell you that for some time I’ve been somewhere between the Light and Dark of my World;

I want to tell you how I’ve been so tied to my emotions - with a microscope to the intricacies of my emotions. Micro - managing maybe? No, micro - caring - tending to the delicate and tender nature of emotions. Starting over every day, not quite sure, on the journey that they’d take me on and how I would navigate it. 

In retrospect, it’s easy to see now that none of it was necessarily new or old for that matter. In some ways, sometimes, it is easy to think that emotions can be so volatile and maybe so. But instead, over these past couple of months - I can see that it’s emotions flowing out of everything that matters to me. I can see how familiar I am with myself. I can see how deeply I know myself. 

I want to tell you all the ways that I’ve felt hurt; all the ways that I have been healing; all the ways I felt the sting of open wounds. 

I want to tell you how it all began to feel a bit too perpetual; a bit too familiar; like it was a part of me; tied to me; bound to me; 

I want to tell you that today, lying quietly on my bed, how in one moment of grace - it felt like it never happened at all. It felt like my Heart was untouched and pure. 

See, that’s the adventure of it all, right? Pure Consciousness experiencing itself - experiences. 

Pure Consciousness - God; The Absolute; The Divine

I could experience varying degrees, intensities of my connection to my innate nature; to my innate self. Lights brilliantly shining; dimmer, softer lights; misty shades; utter darkness. I can experience it all - and always come back to myself. I can experience it all and know that I am always there; always Present. There comes a point where the switch flickers on and off - but I know, I know who I am. 

So quietly, I experienced that moment of grace - where I no longer felt old stories constantly hovering over and haunting me; where I no longer felt bound to the roller coaster of emotions. I experienced that moment of grace - where I made it to the Light at the End of the Tunnel. I just kept going and I made it to the Light at the End of the Tunnel. 

I just kept going and I was met with the Open Skies of the Heavens and remembered the Power of the Heavens; the Power of that which Created me; the Power of the Absolute; the Power of the Divine.

I remembered that God never forgets me; I remembered that God does not have the capacity to forget me. I remembered that I am Held in the Hands of the Most High. I remembered that God does not have the capacity to release me from his Hold. 

I want to tell you that the Power of my God-ness flows through me and how I’ve mastered the Infinite Ways of my divinity - something I thought was not possible. I just got accustomed to the high of the overwhelm when I felt the Energy of the Infinite creating ItSelf within my Heart. Till one day, I woke up and realized how intimately I knew the Infinite - the Infinite feels as it should - powerful; just constantly radiating through the eons in its holy and sacred nature. I realized that even the Infinite in me created patterns based on everything that mattered to me; to my Life. I realized that the Infinite creates a controlled experience of itself for the Be-ing to fully savor in its experience of itself - so even in those moments where I feel myself experiencing something so grand; so powerful - I feel grounded; I feel present; I feel here; I feel now. 

I wanted to tell you that experiencing the Infinites and Intimates of my Existence - it is still but a small; tiny; miniscule fraction of who I am; of who we are; of all that is. 

All that to say, this is the Grandness and the Glory of who we are; of that which we belong to; that which beats in our every single heart beat; that which we breathe in our every breath. 

All that to say, don’t miss the point of all of this. Don’t get so lost that you give up on finding your way. Don’t get so numb that you learn to live off that emptiness. Don’t get so jaded that you let hope walk right past you. 

All this to say - keep seeking; it will find you; it will come to you. It is seeking you out continuously - creating endless ways so that you can hear it. 

Don’t miss the point of all of this - God is Here; God is now inside of your heart. God is creating all the ways for you to find your way. God is creating all the ways to fill your heart again. God is relentlessly reviving the hope within you. 

Don’t miss the point of all of this. And so what, so what if you’ve given up on finding your way. There is something that never takes its Eye off of you; something that never leaves your heart; something that is there taking care of you; something that is holding you. And sometimes that’s all that matters. Sometimes, that’s the only thing that really matters. 

Created by - Chelsea Avasa Khan