I feel that these past couple of months - I have been quietly observing A LOT! Quietly observing … quietly feeling … quietly processing … quietly seeing … quietly discerning … quietly and gently feeling into understanding things a bit differently. Feeling new perspectives quietly introduce itself into my heart - soothing the hurt … calming the nerves … redirecting my being to seeing the goodness of life.

Lately, I’ve been wanting a solid sense of direction … of focus … to flow my creativity into; my sacred energy into. A solid inner sense of direction consistently moving forward.

Life’s been flowing lately - like it has a lot to unravel … and there have been very few moments to really pause and ruminate on anything. New clarity … new perspective … new movement of new energy unravels itself in the moment and then it’s on to the next. Life’s been flowing lately yes … but within these past couple of weeks there’s been a re-direction - new routine; new people; new experiences. And yet each time I experience Life’s re-directions - I’m always here; always present within myself; connected to myself; serving and nurturing and catering to layers and levels of my being that require my attention. I’m always at Home within myself. Life never looks to strange or too unfamiliar because I’m always right here.

I’ve gotten so accustomed to constanly moving forward … that it took me a moment to realize that I am experiencing a pivotal moment within my Human Experience - that encompasses the desires and intentions of my Soul. I’ve just been consumed in guiding my human nature through all of the layers of clarity consistently unfolding - that it took me quietly by surprise - that I have entered into an era of a great deal of accomplisment within my soul.

Within these past couple of years I have been passionately consumed by the experience of my Innate Sovereignty - allowing my Soul; my God to be at the forefront of my human experience; all the layers of my being experiencing itself through my Soul; through my God. It is this FIRE that burned endlessly within me - speaking of my Soul’s Absolutes; and Knowings and Truths. It is experiencng the Fearless Freedom of my Soul rooted in the Palms of the Infinite.

In the midst of experiencing the Sovereignty of my Spirit; the Well-Being of my Absolute - the palms that holds the Earth within its grasp - there was an emptiness that I felt within my Life … a Home that I quietly longed for … to belong too … that something was missing. While I held my Innate Knowing of my Absolute within me - I longed for a stability in my Life; I was craving to be a solid part of Life. There is a freedom in ‘not belonging anywhere’ … in ‘belonging solely to your Soul; to your Source … which in ond of itself is a sacred and holy thing to experience. But nevertheless this yearning persisted within me.

And this brings me too to the ‘era of a great deal of accomplishment within my soul’. Throughout this month of March I have been feeling and experiencing this quiet build up of a stability within myself; within my Life that I have never felt prior …. that I have never dreamt of feeling. The Sovereignty of my Spirit; of my Soul; of the flesh and blood of all the experiences; of all the lives that it has lived thus far - moulded me into a Creation of its Stability.

In the aftermath of these experiences; of these quiet revelations - I feel innately that the entire trajectory of my Life has changed in relation to all the new ways that I have chosen and decided to establish myself.

I feel that I understand more consciously the depth of my experiences. I feel the natrual evolution of my human spirit. I feel it more centered within myself. There is a plethora of ways it is experienced but now I am fully aware of the unraveling of the Knowledge of Source coming to LIfe. I feel my consciousness continually evolving in this Life and I am learning more and more what ‘this Life’ means specifically to me.

I never anticipated that my ‘spiritual stability’ would translate itself into this ‘human stability’. I scaled the mountains with the Strengh and Prowess of my spiritual stability to find my way to the Top … to find and claim my place in this World.

You see, in some ways, while I felt the Invincibility ond Freedoms of my Soul … I felt the vulnerabilities and fragilities within myself … I felt an easy Prey to Life. But this is the way that I see it - I can only experience so much at a time - and at first - I was submerged in all these visceral experiences of my Source and thereafter - another adventure began - where all those prior experiecnes would seep into me ‘til it became me. Vulnerabilities and fragilities that I once tried to make into strong and unbreakable things - I let it be as is within me - I let it create darknesses and sorrow that painted my world and my heart in its hurt and its pain. I let my fragilities break and shatter me - I lived in the breaking; I existed as the shattered peices. And there I experienced myself more deeply; more intimately; more closely. Those vulnerabilites and fragilities are a part of who I am. And yes the healing came … the pieces were put back together … I found my Way to my Sun once more - but that wasn’t the end game you know. Those moments allowed to me to see there were endless ways to experience myself and nothing was to be pushed to the side - nothing was to be made into something it was not - it was to be experienced as is - in its full rawness. Where I was a Prey to Life - I let myself be devoured by the Predator; and found that the tables quickly tunred and the Prowess of my Heart revealed its Ways in Full Force. I was never a Prey … perhaps disguised as one so that when the feigned predator revealed its attacks its mask would fall off for the World to see the Truth. The Truth - not who was really the Predator or who was really the Prey … but the Truth - of who we are … the Truth of what really matters in this LIfe … the Truth … the Simple Truth that is so often painted over by Feign Truths. But the SImple Truth never fades.

Maybe I’ve evolved to experience of more of what my Soul can offer unto me - but there was a TIME when SURRENDER was a STAPLE of my daily LIFE - where I experienced what it is life to have my SOURCE claime every part of my own as its own; there was a TIME where the SURGES of POWER of my Soul flowed through me daily - bringing me to the heights of ecstasy; of pure intimate bliss; there was a TIME where I looked into the Eyes of a God who held ME unwaveringly in His Heart and HE told me who I am … relentlessly … that I could never be lost to myself because I was ever present within His Heart; there was a TIME where I met God through the pure vulnerability of the human heart and He took it upon HimSelf to restore a Shattered Heart with His own Grace … ahh yes … GRACE … there was a TIME where GRACE fed my Heart daily ‘til I made my Way out of the dark and into those Scorching Rays of my Own Light once more. GRACE … where a piece or two of my Heart would quietly find its Way back to each other and in the motions of the day - I would feel it … the Hands of Grace acting so quietly and so gently within me.

So there is A LOT happening now - but in the midst of it all - I can acknowledge and honor the depths to which I have lived ‘til now!

I’ve my soul-full of SURRENDER; of POWER; of GRACE … all fuelled by the Absolute Knowing of SOURCE that BURNS within me!

I never imagined that my SPIRITUAL PROWESS would solidly cement itself within me - in this way. It is … a human being experiencing the depths one can feel their own physical stability. It transcends the Independence that I’ve been chasing after - often times feeling as though I was trapped and constantly fighting to be free. It is beyond feeling ‘grounded’ within myself; within my Life. It is the experience - claiming and owning my PLACE in MY WORLD; in MY LIFE; claiming what BELONGS to me!

I never imagined to be this … to become this … BISMILLAH!

I feel a SOLID SENSE of STABILITY within MY WORLD; within my LIFE … Life’s most powerful roots have seeped into every part of my being and rested itself there!

Written by - Chelsea Avasa Khan