I don’t know where to start or how to begin … 

But Life has been ‘hard’ for a while and I’ve been somewhat hesitant to really see it that way. I guess that connecting to the relatability of the difficulties of Life - it helped me to keep moving forward. But at the same time, I neglected to acknowledge the ‘unique heaviness’ of my life/ of my story. I guess I didn’t want to … at the time. 

But between yesterday and today, I viscerally felt the Vibration of my Life shift entirely; cleared itself on many Layers; it’s lightened itself tremendously. 

It’s one of those things - where the Clarity; the bigger, overarching perspective reveals itself and I can see and understand my energy and my experiences over the past couple of months. In some ways, I can see the linear nature in which my story unfolds - I felt like I flowed from grounding my energies; myself, into an experience/ a journey of anchoring these Unique Energies of Life. 

Each experience; each journey has allowed me to acknowledge the significance of my path and its unique unfoldments. It allows me to acknowledge the Grace of Existence and how I feel the Hands of the Absolute ever upon Me; ever upon my Heart; ever upon my Life. It allows me to wake up more and more every day to the Power of Creating Your Destiny and the Epic Journey that follows when your heart is undeniably open to the entire experience. 

This experience of Anchoring these Energies of Life - I feel that it somewhat mirrors my experiences of grounding mySelf; of grounding who I am; of grounding my Truth. They both felt heavy and intense in their own ways - a heaviness and intensity that always felt somewhat unnatural but temporary at the same time. 

It’s been heavy; heavy layers - in retrospect, I can feel the Clarity of the New Layers of Energetics of Life that I have been creating. Even the phrase - energetics of life, is something that I’ve never used within my experiences. I have been grounding these lighter and lighter energies of Life and Live-ing. 

I’ve been submerged in all these different stories - so much so, that I felt that at some points I couldn’t even see my story clearly anymore. They felt like these ‘tentacles’ wrapped around me - it felt quietly hard; quietly heavy. It was only for a time - my heart whispered to me; so I just went with the flow as I felt that it was not ‘my turn’ just yet. 

In the midst of it all - while I developed a certain sense of comfort in the flow - I knew it wasn’t my Home. I knew that it wasn’t quite where I belonged in my Life. And yet, it has encompassed a plethora of experiences that were building, transforming and layering my Home, my Life. (I just have to say that this paragraph pretty much expresses how I have felt much of my life)

It is a HUGE RELIEF to sit here and express these sentiments - it makes me feel more at ease within myself; within my life - in understanding my experiences; in giving a voice to all the quiet unfoldments within my Heart over the past couple of months. 

Over these past couple of months, I have felt like I needed these ‘anchor points’ in my Life; that for some reason - I was quietly needing to ‘cling’ to these anchor points of Life - another layer of grounding. I felt Life clinging to me in much the same way - this constant reminder that I am a Part of Life/ an Integral Part of Life. 

I felt that I constantly needed to remind myself of ways that I was part of/ that I belonged to Life even if it didn’t quite feel like ‘Home’ - I felt quietly compelled to cling to it; that it was necessary for me to be focused there. 

It hasn’t been easy to establish these new anchor points - when I am constantly feeling the Vacancy; Emptiness of my Life; feeling it on a vibrational level - I understand it - creating something new and the space being created to allow that new thing; feeling it within my Heart - it feels a little scary at times feeling the anticipation of it all. 

But now, not I can’t help but feel it is part of my destiny - to ground these Energies of mySelf; of my Truth; and then to ground these Energies of my Life.

In retrospect, I was alchemizing what felt like all these scattered energies of Life - allowing them to stabilize themselves in the Way that reflected and embodied the heart and soul of who I am. And now, now I feel a Lightness of Life that I did not quite anticipate and it is moments like these where I feel myself experiencing the grace of the Absolute; the magic of Existence. I have had many experiences where I feel myself submerged in these yearnings for clarity and these experiences unfold thereafter - then at the end, there is the Grace - where the Clarity comes Alive inside of me. 

Now, here and now, 

I bow to the Graces of the Absolute,

Softly reminded that in the midst of Live-ing

I am held in the Hands of the Absolute. 

All the quiet chaotic and scattered energies that have been swirling around me these past couple of years - I feel their grips loosened on me. It’s like I can no longer hear it inside of my heart; I am no longer expecting to hear it; I am not listening for it or to it anymore. A lot has transpired within these past couple of months in the Energetics of Life/ of my Life. 

I felt so attached; that I had to be, otherwise I would lose my connection to Life - meanwhile there was MUCH UNFOLDING ENERGETICALLY - the energetic workings that transform all layers of the Being; of my Being; of my existence. That’s been a common theme of my journey that often times when I am feeling the complete absence of something - the complete presence of it is being created; is falling into place; grounding itself. So while I felt that I was losing my connection to Life, I was creating a New Connection to Life; to my Life. 

I feel that Intense Focus on Life lifting; lifted and I just feel a whole lot lighter. 

I was deep in the Energetics of Life - the past; the present; the future - all of these energies swirling around me; allowing myself to be swept up in these mini tornadoes - consistently staying connected to my Heart in the midst of all these experiences. 

Sometimes, these SHIFTS, they happen so quickly and so quietly that I NEED to pause and reflect for a bit. See, I went from being in this Unique Stream of the Energies of Life to one day waking up and feeling this clearing; that whatever this experience was, it’s near its ending; its completion. All the while I was in this Stream - I didn’t have the full clarity of what it was till now - in its completion stages; I can feel a gentle understanding within my Heart. 

I have to stop in these moments, because I am entering a New Flow. I let go of MANY old reflections and embodied A LOT more of who I am over August and now to say the least, things feel a whole lot different. I guess it is fair to say that I am accustomed to entering into New Streams of Flow of Live-ing which makes my Soul happy - that it thrives on expanding and experiencing more and more of itself. A friend of mine said recently that the ongoing-ness of change is important and that statement encompasses a great deal of who Chelsea is. 

So now, I feel myself not so intensely focused on Life which is a stark contrast to the streams that I was flowing in just prior. I feel so much lighter and at ease within myself; within my Heart. 

It’s been a lot you know and I feel a little exhausted - an exhaustion that not a lot of people understand; that I can’t share so easily but it’s there. I feel a little tired from working with all those Energies every day. Now, the Lightness needs to outweigh the Heaviness. 

I am happy, relieved, glad - that it’s over you know - it’s BEEN A LOT! My Energy feels significantly different in a way that I have never anticipated (which is something I have been saying a lot lately) - I don’t feel the grip of my past holding on to me; I’m not enticed to listen to the callings of the future; and I’m not attached to making the now full of something. 

See, I can tell that I have established new energetics of my Life; of Live-ing. I can tell that it is significant to Humanity. I can tell that I have touched upon these Old Roots of Life giving unto them New Life - straight from the Source. 

It feels like this intense ‘personal yearning’ for something turned into creating something that is personal to Source. 

I wanted so intensely to create my Life - part of it feels so innate to me and then it also feels beyond me in many ways. 

I co-created with my Source, with the Absolute, these New Energetics of Life & Anchored them into my Life! 

And now I feel de-tached from it; my focus isn’t really holding me there anymore; but I can feel that I have accomplished a lot! I think that I tend to do a lot with a little you know, or rather … I have this Blank Canvas of Life and with this Pure and Raw Energy of Source; of my Soul flowing through me - I can create and bring to life all the things that Matter to my Heart. 

I feel like I have been on this LONG journey of anchoring; grounding all these Unique Energies of my Soul; of my Existence; of Life and well now, now it feels stable and solid; grounded and anchored. 

And now, 

Now I’m experiencing that Depth of Life - 

where I am connected to the Heart of Life; 

where I am where I belong; 

settled and at Home.

Experienced by - Chelsea Avasa Khan