See For YourSelf
You know, I've grown accustomed to the ongoing flow of clarity - day to day; new perspectives, new energies Flourishing; old energies withering away; I've grown accustomed to this pattern. But lately, lately, the clarity feels much deeper, much more personal - it feels like a clarity climax that has culminated over my entire life into this moment.
Today, it feels like this clarity was destined; my entire journey until this point towards this clarity, was destined. There are these pivotal themes that I have felt within my Heart constantly over my entire life as though ordained that I see myself and my Truth with the utmost clarity.
Where I have felt both lonely and whole; I have felt the natural wholeness of Divinity but there is a loneliness that has followed Chelsea Her entire life. It's like a powerful, intimate alchemization and transformation that has been quietly unfolding - that I felt this loneliness within myself because there were missing parts of me waiting to be collected and put back together once more. It was a quiet moment this week - where I felt the awareness that throughout my entire life I've been Nurturing, Healing, Creating A New Intimate Wholeness within myself; a pivotal moment in my life - where for the first time I was no longer reaching outside of myself in the midst of this loneliness. All of me was there, present within my Heart and well aware of it!
Bismillah!
And then, then there is Love - where I have felt the Love of God cradle me; there was a huge part of me that desperately searched for this love in everyone and everything around me. Part of me that so desperately wanted to love with all of me and be loved - it felt sorely unattainable. And today, today has been another pivotal moment, Where everything stopped because this is another clarity climax that has accumulated over my life. I feel my Soul shining this soft but brilliant Light on the Love that I am, that is innately a part of me; on the Pure Love that is ALIVE inside of my Heart; and I no longer feel my hand reaching out for love; when it is so viscerally and rawly and purely and brilliantly alive inside of me!
Bismillah!
And then, there is Life ... while part of me has felt the vibrancy of Life alive inside of me ... there is another huge part of me that has longed for my Life to come ALIVE in the same way that it feels inside of me. As though part of me awakes each day on the lookout, waiting for it, and just feeling my own drawn out hope wearing me out. Just aching for Life to give me more of something real. And then my Soul, She is shining another soft but Radiant Light on the Unique Vibrancy of Life that LIVES within me; that I LIVE everyday. See, whatever life I yearned for and by habit kept the yearning inside of me, was no where close to the LIFE that came ALIVE inside of me. In much the same way, I no longer feel my energy reaching outside of me for more.
I can't tell you what this moment feels like ... I've had so many inner alchemizations; dawnings of new clarities; perishing of old Selves but nothing has ever felt quite like this. Things that no one else could touch upon within my Heart that I've carried, things that I've never asked of God to bring Light too, it feels like my entire life thus far has been a journey paved by God, so that I see myself with the utmost clarity; with the utmost truth; not in bits and pieces; not some of it; but all of it. (For even the journey - walking the path and experiencing it, automatically creates a NEW LAYER OF TRUST within the Heart.)
It's just been God and I today, reveling quietly in what Grace has bestowed unto Me.
Bismillah!
Of Her Two Eyes,
There was One which belonged to the Divine; purely of the Divine;
And
The Other - was the Eye with which She saw HerSelf; Her Life; Her Heart;
The Eye with which She saw the Heavens and Hells of HerSelf;
The Eye with which She Understood and Misunderstood HerSelf;
See,
Having the Solid Vision of Her Source;
Allowed Her A Journey of Mystery to traverse and explore HerSelf;
Having the Solid Eye of Her Source on Her Maze of Mystery;
On Her, as She navigated HerSelf through Her Self-Invented Adventure of Her Existence;
Experiencing the Path so viscerally, She created Her Moments of Grace
She reached The Climax of the Maze of Her MyStery
And
Rising from the grounds beneath Her were these Whispers
These Whispers surrounding Her
For One,
Who has so gracefully accepted and is living in Her Power;
For One,
Who lets the Forces of Her Power seethe through Her Bones;
Your time has come to relinquish Your Incompleteness in Exchange for the Wholeness that You have created for YourSelf;
For there is Power in the Soul Needing and the Heart Yearning
And then there is the
Power in the Soul Seeing those Very Necessities within ItSelf;
Power in the Heart seeing Its Very Yearning Intricately Intertwined within ItSelf;
Another Layer of Power established within Her - The Power of Whole-ness;
A New Power that will render Familiarities of the Heart; Patterns of the Mind; Stories and Identities of Self; Prior Rhythms of Life … O B S O L E T E.
For when the Necessity of the Soul appears before thee,
You will fall to your Knees - more than surrendering; you are bowing to a Part of Your Soul that you have never met Prior;
You are welcoming YourSelf;
And when the Yearning of the Heart befalls Your Gaze;
You travel to the Universe of Your Heart where that Yearning lay resting there the entire time;
And You will feel that yearning transform itself into something that has BELONGED to you; your existence.
I know, there is a sensual high of experiencing the Intensity with which the Soul needs something of itself; there is an intimate communion with your Source in the Yearnings of Your Heart;
But to Welcome the Power of Wholeness when it appears at Your Doorstep;
Is to Welcome A New Power of God;
Allowing a New Power of Creation to come ALIVE and EXPERIENCE ITSELF;
It is to let go of the Hand of Your Source
And See clearly for YourSelf;
Standing on Your Own Two Feet;
Your Resounding Whole-ness;
Smiling, God said to Her,
I’d welcome You looking through my Eyes always,
I adore your company,
But, don’t you deserve to look through Your Own Eyes and see it all for YourSelf;
To soar through These Open Skies of your Existence
With your Own Eyes KNOWING the Way of Your Heart; of Your Soul; of Your Path; of You.
Experienced by - Chelsea Avasa Khan
